Tanisha Ware

if you don’t plan your life, life will plan it for you. and life takes no requests. two steps forward and one step back is STILL one forward. whatever it is… do it today, because so far, tomorrow is just a hope.

while i AM an optimistic person, i am still able to see and feel the reality in most situations. I wouldn’t say that i’m more positive or negative (although, i’m sure my family and friends would have a much easier time discerning which they considered me to be). in fact, i have quoted myself, more than once as being a “realist”. i am neither too sunny, nor too depressing. i won’t admit to being too agreeable or too disagreeable. trust me, i have my moments.

this morning as i cruised about the last minute christmas eve shoppers, not really paying attention to anything, i was brought to those end of the year thoughts:

1. planning my baking schedule over the next few hours
2. remembering to search for the first viewing of “It’s A Wonderful Life”
3. remembering to search for animated Christmas specials for SuperBoy
4. quickly considering and then dismissing the idea of a “resolution” with the start of a new year.
5. wishing I could start every single morning of my life with an amped up version of “Merry Christmas Baby” sung by The King: the one and only Elvis Presley. (i just had to add that because it came on my Pandora right now and really brought a smile to my face).
6. going back to school, vowing to eat better, eat smarter, eat cheaper, eat less sugary, workout more, sleep more or — uhh,sleep more effectively, get outside more, read more, spend more time investing in my ideas, writing, baking, creating new recipes and so forth and so on (no dammit, that’s a resolution. or is it?).

you know those thoughts, right? resolutions. New Year’s Resolution. The Resolutions of all resolutions. the sometimes private, occasionally public, sporadic yet carefully planned irregular normal things that you promise to yourself and anyone who can hear you to live a better life. this spontaneous burst of zen and chi wrapped up with spunk, zest and mojo to cover the tinge of sarcastic experienced “yeaaaaah right” that’s already oozing from your thoughts about said “Resolutions”.

i know it seems extremely negative and one sided, but i have to say: resolutions are for the birds. why wait? why january first? why the beginning of the year? does the date determine the amount of effort, value or importance over the change that is being made? or is it just a way to find a reason to not do it? why do we postpone our joy? everyday without a job is a day without a job. why would you delay employment another day? the sooner you get the job, the sooner you get everything that comes with it! and while some of what comes can be bad, most of what will come will be good. real good.

if the motivation behind a New Year’s Resolution is nothing but pure of heart, good will and true intention… why do we vow to do it later? tell me how that makes sense. perhaps you can tell that i haven’t made a resolution in a while? i haven’t. i have only vowed to be a better me. i make no other promises. not to me, not to my son, my family or friends. not to my employer, my coworkers or the maniacal Resolution Fairies in the sky. just… “be a better me”. what’s wrong with that? it’s realistic. it’s obtainable. it’s measurable. but by whom? who determines if my Resolution completion is satisfactory or not? only i. just me.

and there in lies the key. a Resolution, composed and held accountable by only it’s maker is nothing more than a thought. a cerebral to-do list. but a Resolution! a Resolution; spoken aloud, written down or taken notice of is a promise. we “resolve”. according to Merriam-Webster.com we will “deal with successfully”. in the course of my research i asked my aunt and number one test subject collaborator if she made Resolutions and her response was almost an exact quote from the disclaimer presented on wikipedia (yes, i know it’s not the most reliable source, however, it is a consensus of public opinion which is the extent of research that i need for my points) stating:

“The examples and perspective in this article deal primarily with the United States and do not represent a worldwide view of the subject“.

they must have known that my next question was “is this a cultural phenomenon”? the above mentioned list Judaism and Christianity as both having a similar concept, but in fact their own statement shows that the religious aspect requires that we reflect on wrongdoings or such and seek forgiveness and atonement. no, that is not the same as planning for a prosperous and productive year.

my interpretation is this: resolutions are just part of the game. we indulge for months and months in a row. from the fourth of july through christmas, we have some sort of celebration almost every month. and who, WHO, celebrates without food? from barbecues and cookouts in the summer through formal family dinners served and shared at thanksgiving and christmas, we are eating. eating, eating, eating. who would have guessed right? in a country rampant with eating disorders, diabetes and heart disease… we eat and eat and eat and we top it all with an alcohol soaked celebration to ring in the new year and a whole new bout of guilt, side effects and repercussions. if you ask me, Resolutions are our punishment for being indulgent and gluttonous.after months of summer fun, summer food and holiday happiness rolled up and covered with whipped cream we’re forced out of our comfort zone, our comfortable pants and into the idea of buying a bigger size! hell nooooooooOo. something must be done. we must VOW to be good. to eat good, be good, treat others good and good and good and more good.

nothing is free. that’s why i don’t resolve. i am a work in progress. nothing about me, my physical person, mental aptitude or emotional stability is actually stable. all things human are also kinetic. they are constantly in motion, changing, adhering and adapting to their environment. this is why we are so amazing. and this, my friends is why i don’t resolve. i refuse to put a ceiling, glass or otherwise, over myself. you can ask anyone, i make no promises. i do not resolve. what will come will come and i will deal accordingly. i will not wait for monday. i will not wait for the first of the month nor the beginning of the year. action deserves reaction. no, action REQUIRES reaction. don’t wait. act. react.